The way my father has treated me from a young age has directly influenced my behaviour and other relationships with people, especially my girlfriend. I'm 18 and discovering for the first time things about myself that I don't particularly like. I see how my father acts today, and I see how I act like him. I am hurtful like him, I am harsh like him, and I react in anger like him. I started therapy today and I am determined to change the ways of my father that I have inside of me.

My girlfriend left me yesterday, citing this as the main reason. To be honest, I don't see why she didn't leave sooner. I'm asking for her forgiveness, I want her to be with me right now in my time of need, but part of me fears that she won't return because she is scared that I won't change. I feel like it's all my fault. I want nothing more then to be rid of my bad qualities.

I started counselling today at my university. I can already feel it helping out. It's made me realize what I've done to people in the past and what I have to do to reconcile with them. I know that I have alot of work ahead of me, and to be honest I'm very excited because I know if I work hard enough, I will succeed. And I want to, because I don't want to live with this feeling of guilt forever.