Quote:
Originally Posted by Djinn8
I don't know... Sometimes I just feel so damaged 
Love's a really complicated thing for me.
I've only ever been in love three times. Two of those ended up being really bad experiences. The first of those was truly terrible and changed me for life. I'm not going to type it out because I don't want to relive it, but it involved me being beaten and stabbed. It's left me very afraid of being in love because of the pain it can cause, while at the same time left me wanting it so badly. - you know, to keep the faith.
That's all been confounded by the more recent experience. Moving to a new house only to have my partner cheat on me and leave me isolated and alone. I'm lonely. And to find someone I really love seems unreal and frightening. I'm left feeling desperate. And because of that I blew it.
****, I'm crying. I've not cried in eight years. |
It's ok to cry, I know how you feel, not everyone feels love this way, like something worth living, life changing, I've only loved once and it wasn't the best experience in my life either although I'm glad that I loved (still do), I am glad that I was the one who experienced love in all of her stages and very deeply, not every person is even capable to feel the way I felt. I also know what you mean when you say that it seems to be unreal to find someone we could love again and it sure is very frightening because we don't know what will happen, what if we will get hurt again or what if that person won't love us back or what if it will never happen again. One day I realized that I just can't think about it anymore, I knew I am torturing myself. Let it go and just live your life not living for love that didn't come along yet, live for something else. I can't promise you that there is someone waiting for you out there, I don't want to tell you nice things, I only want to say what I'm sure about.
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