Okay after further thinking my mouthy, and "do whatever I want attitude" is different than others.

Mouthy = Threatening to family w or without a weapon or being violent
"do whatever I want attitude"= means sneaking out, drinking, doing drugs, sleeping around and illegal things. Yes even at 12.

If she was suicidal most likely she secretly still is that doesn't really go away it gets better and gets worse but it's always there. Especially if she is self harming. You always have to be proactive with that. All the things I said to take away are things that you can use to self harm and privacy currently is not her friend if she's self harming/suicidal. Being around family and proper sleep is a must. Even the things I said to let her keep can be used to harm herself.

We taught our son if he or anyone else hits/slaps anyone it's considered assault and they can go to jail. He immediately called us and told us when my dad popped him in the mouth and asked to be picked up 600 miles away and we seriously thought about it. I couldn't imagine if he got sprayed with water. That's a never seeing my child again offence.

The sports and daycare is so she can see how others her age behave and have healthy outlets to take out her strong emotions out instead of herself.

So if it's just saying "no" to things you ask her to do give her 12 min time out. Time out doesn't start until she is quiet and it's a time to reflect on ways she can get her point across respectively.