Didn't go out like I said I would because, like I also said, my happy moment didn't last and depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I honestly would rather not be happy at all than being happy and falling back to this hole harder each time.
My not going out had an upside though. I found a stray puppy on my way home and I brought her home with me. She has a broken paw and what I think it's scabies and I'm taking her to the vet on monday. She already ate, I gave her a bath and medicine for worms (her tummy is really big). I'm not keeping her though. I'll take care of her and buy the medicine she needs and I'm giving her away to my friend whose dog died a few months ago.