My friend's party...I'm ruining it. I keep trying to not cry and it barely works. I'm being quiet and sad and I can't control it. The guy I like is her friend so he was at the ice cream place we met and and I got so numb after a while because he likes a friend of hers (for a long time) and was trying to flirt with her. Not having fun.
I feel like I'm drowning but nobody sees.
I can't breathe. It's going black. I need help.
I can't leave. I want to stay. But they're all smiling and laughing and I'm just standing here talking to my phone screen and trying not to be numb.
I cried in her bathroom not too long ago. Only a few tears.
Not enough.
So numb.