I have been so depressed since the death of my boyfriend by committing suicide.Until now I am grieving, I cannot accept what happened. Guilts and a lot of sad feelings conquering me each time I wake up.I have a concrete thinking of following him after his death as I promised him in front of his coffin.I really cannot take it.I maybe dead few days ago if I am considering my children.I wanted to prepare ample amount for their future as well as insurance to cover their expenses if I am gone.It is too selfish indeed I know, but I really don't know how to cope up with my sadness and emptiness.Until when will I suffer? I am so tired of living unhappy.Now I am not afraid of death.I will be living a life until someone ends my life.
Hopeless, crazy, mad whatever they will call me I don't care anymore. I already hate to wake up.