Quote:
Originally Posted by PeeJay
I am healing from PTSD from abuse, as well as several abandonments. I was a foster kid.
But a new thing is happening that makes me hate my own thoughts: I am extremely angry about what happened to me and jealous of people with good enough families.
As in, I met a woman age 25 with a PhD who does nonprofit work, and I think, well aren't you perfect with your intact family and lawyer dad? It's easy to be morally superior than the rest of us when you've been supported your entire life and when you've been loved your entire life. And when your parents supported you all through school.
I know that everyone has their own struggles and I know that I shouldn't compare myself to other people. But there is a new ugliness within me I didn't have before I started processing all this trauma. Can anyone else relate?
|
You're not the only one, life can be so damned unfair. Although I would go as far as saying nobody is perfect and that if you did have a microscope, you would realize she doesn't have it as good as you think. Regardless, she probably does have it better than you in many ways.
But life is unpredictable. Just because somebody has it better does not mean they will always have it better. And just because somebody was abandoned does not mean they can't find the best kind of love that even people with intact families could not dream of. Don't give up. I'm trying to do the same btw. I'm trying to recover from a PTSD (being witness to an incident) and also mixed in emotional abuse.
I think maybe having suffered through some of the things that we did suffer does give us special abilities. Maybe we are better at matters of the heart. When due to trauma people are forced to slow down, I think they gain new perspective and that is not useless. I think we just need to know how to use it. It can take a while to do that of course but there is a way out of this that will result in us feeling more confident and less angry.