I'm new to this site, but would like any advice you may have. I have an 11 year old son. He is a really good kid. President of his elementary school, typically an all A student, well-liked, good athlete, good son. I am a single mom and I am very involved in his (and his 8 year old brother's) life, including much volunteering at school, sports coach, and social coordinator. I work hard to instill the values in them that I prioritize as important - family, responsibility, Church, honesty, hard work, etc. I do not indulge the kids with material things, but I do give them a pretty big helping of love, affection and time.

That being said, I've been witnessing some worrisome behavior from my 11 year old. I don't want to label him, so I will describe what I am seeing. He tends to be developing a huge focus on himself, as well as developing a growing obsession with material things. He tends to (rather politely I might add) devalue the things his friends have or do. We do not have a lot of money, but we certainly have everything we need. We live in a fairly affluent area of the city, but a fairly laid-back intown environment. This year, when I asked the boys to be thinking about a few things they wanted to ask Santa for, he brought me a list that said: a mansion, a huge flat-screen tv and a new car! He thought he was being funny but quickly recognized the appalled look on my face and back-tracked immediately. This is a small, silly example, but it is typical of his behavior. If we order pizza, he will be the first to run to the kitchen to ensure he gets the biggest pieces with no regard to anyone else eating with him. If I take him out to get a birthday present for a family member or friend, he will grab the first thing he sees and be done. If he is thinking about what he might want for a birthday, he will spend hours research exactly what he would like.

I know he is young, but I need to figure out a way to get him to think of others first, and to be less materialistic. I fear these traits will only grow with him if I can't figure out a way to get him to see things differently. I'm pretty certain that he does not see these traits in me, but I could be wrong. He sees my ex 4 days/month. The traits I am seeing in him are exactly the traits I saw in my ex for 13 years. I know I may be a little sensitive because of that, but I try to keep it all in perspective.

Any thoughts, suggestions, etc. would be welcome! Thank you