For me it meant my mother was going to call after not calling for x months. A previous t called it magical thinking. I would say it was my defining attribute, no joke. But it seems like it hasnt come up lately. Maybe i broke the curse. One thing i have been doing differently is making plans. I havent really been following through, but for a long time i didnt even want to make any plans because i was just adrenal-exhausted - i couldnt get my hopes up and then disappoint myself yet again. The point of what i am trying to say is - stick with it - it can eventually get better. But its like you have to stop looking! Its a b1tch.