Yes, I would make a list of what you had vaguely in mind (school, career, marriage? school, marriage, career? marriage, school, career?) and the time frame and see what is literally what? "We will be married some day" and moving in together; what is the difference to you between moving in together and just going ahead and getting married? Things will never be perfect and it is doubtful your family will ever be 100% behind you if they are not now (and that they "found out" about your proposal speaks volumes, why are they even in your equation; with support like that. . . :-) so if you are waiting for that, it is possible your finance might not be willing to wait "that" long.

If you want to get married, you have to start working with her, not listening to "outside" sources. That she wants to get married in October (my youngest stepson is getting married then :-) puts that on the table and only you and she can work that out. What is she offering? Does she have a good job and ability to help support the two of you while you go to school for your career? If not, if she is just thinking of herself and what she wants, I'd be a little worried about how well the marriage is going to work with you doing all the supporting of the two of you; it's supposed to be a new, growing partnership, not a free ride/escape from parents/relatives/situations we don't like.