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as the title says these are going to be random thoughts I'm having. I'm not looking for a soultion from anyone. I'm "talking out loud" to see what thoughts I might have.
I still feel like there is something missing in my life, but I have no idea what it is. Maybe it's that I want a connection with someone in life? Since I live in the boonies my friends all live at least an hour from where I live. Combine that with long hours at work and exhaustion from medical conditions and I don't have the energy to go anywhere during the week. I used to have dinner with Mom or a friend on my way home after work. Both are dead now, so that's a no go.
All my concerns about work that I posted in my "stuff" thread are still going on. My immediate boss and her boss do not understand our program and what we do, but they want to tell us how to do it. I've given up going to my boss about the insane work load. Last time I did she told me to "work smart, not hard." It's got nothing to do with "working smart". It's got to do with insane expectations from management. I don't believe in the word "can't". I tell people it is a four letter word. Lately I find myself saying I can't take on anything more at work. It pains me to say it. hmmmm, maybe I need to reframe that to "I won't do that."
Animal stressors are still ongoing. Al and Callie are both still in the land of the living, but they continue to decline. Al popped a huge abcess on his back leg last weekend. Gawd only knows where that came from. Meanwhile his overall health continues to decline. Callie's tumor has gotten huge. Her appetite comes and goes. I know there is only going to be one outcome for both, they are very old and wearing out. Most times I dread what is coming, others, when they are doing poorly I wish it was over for them. Neither has told me it's time to let go though.
In the greater scheme, this is not a big deal, but one of the horses smashed the hell out of my right foot last week. He is a very big boy. He got spooked, jumped in the air and came down on my right foot. It has turned all sorts of glorious colors. I'm beginning to think he might have broken a small bone that'sw been broken before. I know from past experience that going to the doc will do no good. They will take x-rays, charge me a small fortune and tell me to support it and stay off it. I figure I'll save myself the money and aggravation by wrapping it and staying off it.
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