Hi everyone. I have been lurking for a while and am finally posting. I am in therapy for the implosion that happened when my long term ed ( kept under the radar with lots of running) met my newly diagnosed chronic muscle disease which prevents me from running anymore. So now instead of cross addicting I need to actually pursue recovery while dealing with the profound changes in my body from the disease.

I really have a great therapist and she encourages email. Her deal is no therapy over email so she will usually write a short supportive reply if she is online. She some times is online a lot and other weeks unplugs. So I have been waiting all weekend for a response to an emotional email. It's hard to make myself not panic and believe this is just a weekend when she is not online. I know I will probably get a response Monday or Tuesday when she is back at work but occasionally she just doesn't reply.

I went a year in therapy with no strong feelings and minimal trust then we had a few interactions that really increased my trust and we have been getting deeper and deeper since. I never emailed for the first year and now I am doing it several times a week. I am now getting panicky especially because the email was addressing how her tone in messages in the past two weeks has gone from pretty warm to rather distant. I know it could be a lot of things and I HATE how much i need her to respond.

I am just wondering how others manage when they are waiting. I have a job that keeps me very busy but it also keeps me connected almost all the time so it feels like a constant reminder of the lack of response. Also how the heck do I cope with this attachment and neediness? I have other people in my life so I don't understand it

Thanks everyone.

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