I am sorry all these things happened to your daughter as well as you. It's hard, from what my mother has told me, to see your child suffering.

I became depressed at 14 when my grandfather passed away and then my father had a stroke 2 months after. It was soul crushing. I isolated myself. I struggled to keep up with classes because the pain was just all consuming. I found, having to deal with losing my grandfather (who I was also very close) and seeing my dad not remembering all in such a short span gave me no time to grieve either loss properly. And because of it, I had to take a leave from school.

I did intensive therapy. I had home schooling done. I slowly got back on track and re-entered school.

In my freshman year of university (as your daughter has a love for music, I have a love for science) and after taking an exam, I was put in the honors science program with a major in biology and a minor in physics. When it began, it was easy. Especially since I was in the science honors dorms. It was quiet, I was able to keep my anxiety/depression/self harm/and ED under control. Then my brother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. My best friend. I was falling into a depression, but I tried so hard to carry on. I did spend more time at home (I lived 10 minutes away from home) on my off days, etc. Then, another blow. My uncle died. My godfather. Then my depression hit me hard. I slept a lot. I missed classes and had to deal with professors who said the same things as your daughter's "It's time to get over it" "we're not kids anymore. Grow up." Because of my protectionist tendencies, I tried to fight through it. I was restricting my food, sleeping less and less. My anxiety was constantly at an 8. My grades were horrid.

In my sophomore year, my brother died tragically on a day I was home. My mom and I found him. Which lead me to get PTSD. I went back to school as much as I could, but I couldn't see the point. I was at a dangerous weight, suicidal, and just god damn exhausted. My mom sat me down and spoke to me about moving back home for a while, doing online classes at my own pace, and going into intensive therapy again. I listened, and I did get the help I needed.

If she seems like she is going to be more comfortable transfering, please let her know it's okay. She will experience doubt about doing so. She may think you'll be angry or resentful (which of course isn't true, you love your daughter very much!) but that is what depression makes us feel. As if we are going to let the whole world down and then time when the sky is going to fall. Sit her down, comfort her, let her know you'll always be there no matter what. Let her vent if she is comfortable. Just let her know, no matter what, you wont ever be angry. That the only thing you want is her health and happiness.

Good luck and many hugs.