I'm very sorry for your loss. I know that that doesn't change anything, but know that I truly am sorry. It's good that you have a therapist. It makes sense that you are tired after all that you've been through, but you will get better. I know that me saying that doesn't change how you feel, so the point is mute. However, I know that you can make it through this. I think it is important to wait out the feelings a while longer, before you do something that you might regret. Keep talking to your therapist. I wish you the best.