Update:

Just in case anyone wanted to know. Still having a few emotional problems, but working on them. Went in for the second colonoscopy last Thursday and it went off without a hitch! Whew! I'm still having problems with urinary retention, but no longer catheterized and back to. 'baseline' when I started having the problem. I have two separate test with the urologist before the end of the year. But trying not to think about that. Just focussing one day at a time.

There was one problem that may have been due to the sedation they used for the colonoscopy: i wasn't allowed to take anything for anxiety or sleep for 24 hours after the procedure. So I knew it was going to be a rough night. I slept for about three hours, waking up constantly with nightmares. Then around 1am, the noise of the TV which I normally use to sleep started annoying me. So. I turned it off. Then tried to listen to white noise to calm me down as I was beginning to get really agitated. Didn't work. It felt like 100 different TV channels going off in my head at once. I thought I was going absolutely crazy.
I decided at 3am, it was either try the Xanax or go to a hospital. I could not understand what was going on. An hour later, the Xanax put me to sleep from 4am - 8am. Felt okay waking up.

Went to group and as kay during the first one. Before the second one started, I began to feel very anxious and tearful without knowing why. My case manager talked to me and I seemed to stabilize. Promised her before I left if it happened again, I would go to the hospital. But, fortunately, I have been able to sleep well these past 2 nights. Waking up and starting my day anxious without knowing why is still happening. But during those times and others, I'm repeating to myself what my CM said to me "nothing has changed since a few minutes ago. Nothing is going to change. You're okay". Seems to be helping.

Thanks everyone for your concern and support. I'm doing okay. Going to therapy and trying to 'deal'. Take Care