My wife of three years has a 14 y/o son who is really on my last nerve! ( My wife too) seemingly normal kid. Regular school,regular classes, well spoken. There are many problems such as talking back, lies and being very dirty.

By very dirty I mean he messes his pants every day and then sits in it until he is forced to clean himself . Even then he sometimes fakes getting a shower.

I thought it was because of me being with his mother but she and others in her family have told my it has been going on since he was 6. My wife kept telling me she thinks its a medical condition but three different doctors have told her that there is no medical reason for this behavior. My thoughts were if it was medical ,why does he sit in it as long as he can.

After seeing a psychologist for 5 or 6 visits we were told there is nothing she can do. She said it was behavioral and my wife needs to lay down the law and make consequences for such behaviors.

My wife refuses to do this . She seems O.K. with all of his problems. I on the other hand have pretty much removed myself from any interactions with him and do not go any where when he is involved.(its very hard to be in a car with him and the smell.

I have begged and pleaded with my wife to do something to stop him but her answer is always the same. "I don't want any negative things in his life"

I don't know any other way to asked her .I think I've tried every thing. Any suggestions?