Thanks for responding Leah. At the moment I really have no single person I can turn to with all my 'stuff', apart from my T, and I absolutely HAVE to keep it all together. So I feel like the only place I can come for even a little understanding and maybe support is here.

Its quite sad really.

On some level I guess I know that I am trying to make myself feel safe, or at least wishing I could. I agree that getting all the support I can would be ideal, but I do not have a big support system, so my T it is.....but I am even wary of seeing him right now. Gah!