I'm sorry to hear that your in this space at the moment jane. Reading your posts I thought damn I feel that too! I don't feel like I have anyone but T and it's been something like 5 weeks so far and another lot of that to go before I see T again.
I've always thought that if I cry it won't stop, we have discussed that in a couple of sessions. I have come to believe that I do this for control, when everything else is going down stream at least I can control not crying or feeling! It's a nice way to fool myself, but it's not a true way.
Don't shy away from your T, this is a time to talk it out, even with a little tear