This is the problem lightcatcher. when I go to see my T I almost always feel like crying, and most often now I do to one extent or another. It took me months to be a little ok with that.

Last week, I was not ok with it...I could not allow it. Thanks for the insight into control, it makes complete sense to me.

So now what have I gone and done? I emailed and cancelled this weeks appointment, I really need it, but I have my son at home for the holidays and I have no one to look after him so I can go alone, and I don't want to take him. I already have to farm him out on fridays now so I can work as much as possible before beginning university.........oh its a mess.

Sorry to go on, I don't know where else to turn. It would just be so much easier for it all to just go away, forever. But thats not an option...........

I'll just keep telling myself I'm fine.