I've never felt like this before ... i'm so scared. I talked to my RA (residence assistant) about some issues today and its nice to know that i have her to talk about ... but i just want to cry. I want to cry but i can't, and i dont want to at the same time because i hate it.

And the only meds i've been on before were AD's ... but i stopped those over xmas and i'm not to thrilled about the idea again .. and i'd really prefer not to. i hate the thought of being dependent on something to make me feel better ... why do things have to be so hard