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Originally Posted by poeticdemon
I'm not quite sure at all what's going on and I forget about them easily but they don't go away. I just wanna know if there're other people similar and what helps them in dealing with it on a day to day basis because this is not working for me as a lifestyle. I can't function and that's not good right ?
I see things. Its like seeing two images at the same time, not mashed together but layered. My vision of things and objects is clear(good eyesight) AND fuzzy at the same time. It's like a storm going by it hurts my head. In the storm are information I suppose, abstract and non-abstarct, like ideologies, belief systems, a scary noise, a voice, events, images its just hectic. I tried putting them in boxes, sorting them out in a way which helps but it's not enough(yet). Can't explain it better sorry. My reality is fragile, it's tasking getting a grip on things other people seem to just understand. how easily accepting of you I'd say.
When I'm alone my mind wanders into situations and I am engulfed in it, my body and mind responding as if it's reality. I pretend conversations like a practice that I dream of happening in the future, like an actor on stage.
Names and faces are.. difficult for me. Can't remember them well at all. Been that way since I was small. Chugged lotsa pills once(hospitalized)4 or 5 years back, diagnosed with depression and schizo. Some mania. Trauma victim, father used to beat me years back(still taumatized). Mother didn't defend.
I'm not married but living with a partner for two and a half years who looked after me during severe depression two years back. Got better, now though worrying signs appear like the storm I meantioned which was calmed a year ago. Every bits and pieces in the storm were just floating around in slo-mo, they weren't fuzzy and doesn't hurt. Now it's not as bad as it once was but it's gaining speed and I should do something about that. Flunking college and my partner getting involed intimately with one of my mates few months back are possible causes. Am dealing with that but the other things remain.
It'd be ever helpful to me if similar poeple if any could give tips or even just kind words is encouragement enough. Any insight or whatever I dunno. I don't even know what, I'm sorry.[/FONT]
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Thanks for letting us know you have been diagnosed depression and in your words schizo. Schizophrenia is sometimes a very hard to deal with problem for those that have it and those close to the one that has it. I dont have it but a family member does. he goes through these phases that you described. what helps him is staying on his meds, talknig with his treatment providers so that they know when the meds need changing or adjusted. staying in touch with his treatment providers also gives him an outlet for when in his words "freaky things like this" happens. He also gets very active by going to the YMCA /gyms in his location for sports activities and socializing, this gives him another outlet for focusing his pent up energy on something positive. Right now he is inpatient, he has gotten to know himself and his body so well that he now goes inpatient on his own when the psychosis phases begin. this way he can relax and know he is safe and in a controlled environment, which allows him to let down his guard, stop pretending to be ok, and take care of what needs to be done in order for him to get back on track.