It appears you recognize the damage done to you in a very honest way. You don't seem to be exaggerating or overdramatizing anything---which is laudable. You've been put through a lot, there's no doubt about that.

A very wise person told me once that family is quite often (sadly) the LAST people we can count on in our lives to provide the emotional support and unconditional love we crave. It is probably because we're all just too close, and family members are convenient scapegoats for many individual's unhappiness. I've experienced it repeatedly in my life, and it appears you have, too. I am so sorry---you've really been put through more than anyone deserves (well, except maybe the abuser!).

I have had to do the same thing you are considering. It took me a while to work up the courage to do it---and it has basically been rather surgical, as I have been cutting them out one by one.

I only very selectively associate with a few family members anymore. The rest have proven they are NOT the kind of people I would want to be seen in public with, much less confide in, or tell my troubles to, or hope for compassion from them.

None of us are really awash in amazingly supportive other-humans, I imagine that's a big part of the reason we turn to sites like this. So, we DO understand. It doesn't mean you have to struggle alone, or that you can't make friends who can make a great difference to your existence in the future.

Wishing you gentle, understanding new acquaintances....kick the haters to the curb, hon. It can be done, and toxic people are just never gonna change.