Okay, i'll check out the book, thanks!

i often cycle between depression and anxiety and my moods will be drastically different depending on that, i guess. idk, it also feels like i've lost interest in people in general, too? but obviously not that much since i joined the psychcentral forums, haha. I can say that there was a pretty long period during my depression where i was disgusted and enraged and upset over people, because of what my ex-friends did to me. Right now, like when im feeling mostly depressed, it's like im removed from others and i have to try to pull out of it and reach them a little. when im anxious around others, i mostly keep to myself and just try not to worsen it.

And when i talked about the expectations thing with my therapist, she said that something along the lines of me designating people in my life in different places in accordance to what they can give me, and then level that with what i can expect. She kept emphasizing that i can only take what someone can give me and that i can't expect much more from them. And at the time, i just really wanted people to just validate my feelings and acknowledge that they are important because i'm supposed to be important. and well, everyone has a different way of showing how they care and i guess i was just expecting that the people who care should be like, my friend and just, you know, talk to me and assure me that i am cared about because there were several instances where i just felt like i didn't matter and that led to suicidal thoughts.
So i guess I should just start smaller in what i want in a person and see if they have more in them then designate where they can be in my life?
Maybe just a laugh and a good conversation is a start.