Quote:
Originally Posted by lost&wandering
I feel like I'm dying a slow death.
Lacking the basic human connections needed to make each day worth waking up to.
My own fault.
Isolating myself from people. Cutting off friends... throwing them away.
I'm killing myself by stripping away everyone that once meant something to me. Giving up on my life and the potential for happiness.... even if only ever the fleeting kind.
My loneliness tears me up inside and makes it that much easier to hate myself and to continue pushing people away.
I can't see it any other way. I am convinced I dont deserve love or friendship. That I am unworthy of these things. It hurts. I hurt myself this way. I dont know how to change or to stop.
Isolation kills.
|
I tend to do the same thing. I deal a lot with social anxiety, so that plays a big role in my self-isolation. I get to the point where I want to do something, but when I get the courage to go, I think, "WHY did I do this to myself?". I am seeing a therapist for this. First session is Wednesday. I think therapy would be a good thing for you as well.
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia
Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN
“Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.”
― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
|