I'm not sure what to say other than I'm sorry, and sorry for the loss of your father. I feel like I can relate to your story in a lot of ways, although I haven't lost a parent yet. Both my mother and father are mentally ill/not friends of mine, and I have no siblings and really no extended family either, so I feel like I have no family even though my parents are alive. My mother sounds like yours, she is off the charts nuts and at times I've suspected she's evil. I also feel like I need help, I am scared of my current depression. I'm seeing a therapist now in my 30's for the first time, I recommend it, I think .