Jon, I'm so sorry you had that experience. How frustrating. Did your T at least read the letter? Or did he just receive it but not read it?

Could you just tackle one paragraph of the letter and read that outloud in therapy? And then discuss that topic? Just take it a little at a time?

Once I wrote something for my T, at his request, and brought it to our session. He read it silently while I watched him. Even that was hard for me. After he was done, he asked me how it had felt for me to be there with him while he read it, and that lead to a good conversation. It was very hard to watch him read it, but I survived. He managed it well, he was sympathetic to what he read, and let me know that through body language, comments, etc. So I felt by all this that it was OK. And we did discuss it then too. Maybe your T could have you watch him read it as an intermediate step?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
How do you people do this on a regular basis?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Jon, I was falling apart when I entered therapy and there was no way I could even hold it together during the sessions. I wouldn't have been capable of talking about a surface topic like the weather! That was kind of practice for later, when I was more together and ready for really profound, deeper work with my second T. The first therapist was CBT and in a way, that was easier for a therapy novice like I was. CBT is very concrete, with specific tasks and exercises designed to alleviate symptoms and change negative thought patterns. Maybe this approach would be an entre into therapy for you that wouldn't be as overwhelming and challenging. Does that make sense?

Some of us have been posting our ideas for what helps us share with our T's during our sessions. Go to the silence thread and read on the last page. Maybe some of those ideas will click with you.

Could you also ask your T to help you with sharing? Maybe he has some good ideas.

Therapy can be so hard, and it is almost a skill, like learning to snowboard or ride a bike. It takes a while to figure out how to do it and get comfortable with it. I'm still learning! Even though I have shared some really deep stuff with my T, I still have a really uncomfortable moment whenever we start the session. I'm insecure, don't know how to begin, feel intensely shy, etc. I just push on through that, and soon enough, we are "in the groove." But wow, the first few minutes of each session are hard. For me, that never goes away.

Good luck.

sunny