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Jan 13, 2014, 11:13 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia, US
Posts: 1
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H I D D E N B E H I N D A M A S K
Hey everyone, this is Twila. Let me just start off here; I'm thirteen in seventh grade, and four people I love have left me, a lot like your life if you're here huh? I guess...
Any how, I've had the four MOST important people pass, my father (Age four) and my cousin, step grandma, and grand aunt (within the last seven months. And my friend made me realize something when I saw her post on Instagram, I am hiding behind a mask, but all I want to do now is break that thick wall I'm keeping around me. I laugh with the others, I smile with them, I joke with them, and even if I'm really not listening, I'll act like it. It's a habit now, I don't really think of it anymore, but there are still those few that slip through the cracks, those that I can REALLY confide in. I know that it's not good for me to keep everything bottled up, but it's even worse for me to let it out, I feel too vulnerable and feel as though I'll shatter at the slightest touch, the slightest- at the slightest bit of comfort.
During school I actually cried for three classes in a row, but refused to go to the counselor. I wanted to stay near friends, I thought they would protect me from all of the baseballs thrown from around me and I finally realized tonight, the thick wall I have, it's only glass... It's so transparent- people know I'm hurting, but as I am keeping my distance, they aren't ever able to keep up. It's a thing.
I've come to ask to help is all I can really say, I've been emotionless for the past three days, and I'm tired of it, I want to break this fragile wall, let it all out and then just smile, a true smile. If any of you know how to break this mask of mine, please share your thoughts.
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