I'm 'feelin' ya', Freewilled. What you described is so like me.
It feels stupid going in to see the T when I'm going great and feeling good etc - but then last time I did we got into some eye-opening territory. Then I'll feel like the BPD stuff was a crazed dream. And then there'll come times when I feel there's way too much pain and bleakness to want to go on. Or those in between times when I'm not really in myself, or feeling like there's no way I can be those worthwhile things I was so motivated about before ....

I know it helps, esp in the depression phase, to get our attention off ourselves, but I also think that it's not that you're self-absorbed - it's just that there's so much to be watching in ourselves

Anyway, I hope you get some more helpful perspective and feel good about yourself as a person, and as the caring parent you clearly are