Hmm after a few days off it I am finding it difficult to have a clear mind again. I can sit for a couple of minutes but not long at all until the next thought comes up. The thoughts most certainly do slow down and after a while stopped being nervous and anxious thoughts, leading more onto random thoughts which were far less distressing. I really had to focus on letting the thoughts pass me by, it was harder not to get caught up in them. It took me near on 45 minutes to get into a relaxed mind yesterday and today. I hope tomorrow will be better. I do have to go to hospital tomorrow, so that could be affecting my ability to meditate as well as I could last week aswell.

After years of trying I can now control my breathing too. I am breathing much deeper than I was before. This is a big deal again for me as whenever I used to try and control my breathing I would end up having a panic attack. Now I can take very deep slow breathes with very little problem. This is going to be hugely helpful to me, it only occured to me today that I was taking such long deep breaths. The whole "in through your nose, out through your mouth" was very difficult for me to grasp, and now I do it naturally while mediating with no fuss.

Not sure I should mention this bit as I dont want anyone to think I am a tripper, but the last few weeks I have been incorporating crystals into my meditation. I was the furtherest thing from meditating crystal loving hippy just a few short years ago but now I am seeing the overwhelming benefits. When I hold a crystal it just seems easier to meditate. I have been using clear quartz and amethyst mostly. The amethyst is more calming for me while the clear quartz helps with my breathing and concentrating. I never expected anything like this to work, so I am very surprised and thrilled that it is.