thank you granite you are always so thoughtful and it's really kind of you to ask. Thank you, neutrino, I appreciate your asking, too.

I started writing a long post in my other thread after the session, and then I had to go to a meeting, and when I returned to my computer I closed the window without realising what I was doing

I'll try to write another post, but just briefly: it went ok. It was really hard and I felt terrible, and at one point T recognised it and asked if what was happening with me at that moment was what I'd written about... but later in the session when I was so tense and overwhelmed with emotion that I almost couldn't breathe, he kept asking me questions as if there was nothing out of the ordinary going on. I think he probably didn't notice anything, and I just wish I could have made him understand how I was feeling just then.

But it did go ok and he reacted really well to the letter. He thought it was a good description of what is going on, except that he would not agree to the word "despicable" to describe me.