I've waited to long. That was my biggest mistake. I never trusted my therapists or doctors. I presumed they hated me and they might do. I laughed when talking about my problems, or pretending to get better while I wasn't.

I am so ashamed. I can't get a relationship, because I am unworthy. I can't finish my studies, because I'm a failure. I'm 25 and achieved nothing to be proud of. I could have prevented this. I could, but I didn't. All I did was avoid. Therefore, I don't deserve sympathy, only hate.

That's how I live in this world. Angst. That's all there's left.

It will take a long while for me to be 'happy', if that's ever possible. I don't know if it's worth the wait.