This has to be the best article I've read on how to develop love for ourselves.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...yourself-first
I'm especially fond of how the author points out how our ability to love ourselves is affected by our relationships:
Quote:
Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth; if we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves--again and again--by the people around us.
As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most unsure and most tender. When that happens, we feel freedom and relief-and permission to love in a deeper way. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of intimacy, not of will-power.
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I've bolded the part that I think relates very much to myself. The author gives the example of a dog with a shock collar; we can see freedom past the invisible fence, but if we cross it we get shocked. Therefore, if we are berated whenever we love ourselves, then we start to just stay in our yard so we don't deal with the pain.
It's an interesting read and one I'm working on contemplating.