We have been in couple's counseling for 5 years. I have also been in counseling for the same amount of time. He doesn't think he needs to be.

No real history of abuse but he has called me the B-word a few times. I just know him well enough to know that he would act that way, and once when we were talking in counseling about separation and divorce he said that he would try to get custody of the kids. Well, at least our biological son. Then my kids would be separated from each other which would be worse. I also think that my ex might try to get custody of the son we had together and that it would just screw up everything so badly. I have stayed in the marriage mainly for these reasons.