I feel like I am starting to lose my grip on things. I called into work twice last week, partly because I was so worried about the roads being bad because of the weather, and partly because I just didn't want to do it. It was snowing when I drove to my T appointment today and I just couldn't focus, and was disoriented and it scared me almost more than the roads did. I keep having thoughts of sui and SI. I want to just lay down and cry, but I'm not sure I could sit still that long. I'm at the end of my rope.