My T thinks this may be a part of my bipolar cycling but I feel like I used my bipolar as a way to deal with the relationship. When things got bad, I would turn it on myself and work myself into an episode. It is almost like what I am allowing myself to face and feel is being invalidated by the fact that I have bipolar. I know deep inside that I haven't been happy with the relationship pretty much since we moved in together and I just didn't want to hurt my son who had grown to love my husband so I stayed. Then we had a child together and things hit the fan with my bipolar. Now that I am in remission and healthy I am seeing things for what they are.