I have learned from every post in this thread. I guess that I didn't understand what it is like for some who are raised with certain teachings and practices. There is more than one way that religion is taught. I think that some methods may be closer to brainwashing than they are to real teaching that allows a child to learn and explore and know for himself or herself. A child raised that way may have difficulty or be unable to develop faith on their own. I hope that the ability is still there, but it must be very hard.

When very young children, too young to make decisions and commitments and to know for themselves, are made to participate in religious rituals and are told that questioning it is very bad, those children don't develp faith. They develop fear.

But that doesn't mean that faith is wrong or that God isn't real or that people who believe have been brainwashed or misguided, etc. Forcing anyone to do anything has never been God's way. Those who use practices like that must have some reason. Maybe they were taught that way themselves, or maybe they are afraid that children won't make the right choices on their own. Fear doesn't lead to faith though.

The way that I was taught was so different. My mother is a believer and has always expressed her belief. We went to church every week, and I still do. My father's parents were also strong believers, and my father walked the walk from childhood. At some point, however, he stopped believing. I don't know why. He still goes to church, but he doesn't pay attention or participate. He sits there and reads science fiction or plays with his watch or calculator. I do feel that my father shows some autistic spectrum traits and could be diagnosable with asperger's disorder, so that could have something to do with his behavior. But from the time that I was little, my father refused to teach about the gospel, and he has been honest about that it is because he does not know that it is true. He is a good man and lives a good life, and he says that he hopes it is true, although he is open to other possibilities.

I have never felt pressured to believe. If anything, I have felt more pressure from my father to question and doubt. Even teachers and leaders in the church encouraged me and to question and to learn about other beliefs and to find out what is true for myself. I think that one of our most important teachings is that each person needs to find out for himself or herself, and not just lean on the testimony of others. I think that I tend to take that for granted.

But how do you find out for yourself? It takes time and it does take wanting to believe and being willing to work for it. First you have to understand what it is that you believe (or are considering believing). Study the scriptures and learn about God. Then pray to be given your own witness and testimony. If it is true, you will feel it. It might not come right away, and you might have to struggle for it, but it will come.

I have felt this the most when I was in a good place mentally and emotionally. There does seem to be something about depression that masks any kind of good feelings, including faith. I can't feel it when I'm in the pit, and I neglect doing the things that would help me to feel it again, such as studying the scriptures and praying. Music usually helps me, but even that can't reach me in the pit. I think that is because when I am there, I don't want anything that is good for me. I don't eat good food or sleep or take care of myself at those times either. God lets us make our own choices and he will not force us to do anything or to feel anything, even if it would be better than what we are choosing, because that is not his way.

I believe that we need God's help, and nothing that we could do would ever come close to being enough without his help. But at the same time, he expects us to do whatever we can. He will do for us what we can't do for ourselves, but not what we can do. And that is going to be different for each of us, as we are all different people with different strengths and abilities.

Prayers will be answered, and always heard, but as Bebop said, it will be in God's time and according to what he knows is best for us, and maybe not in the way that we think. There is evidence all around us. Sometimes it is just that we are still around to have another chance. Sometimes it is a miracle that happens in a mysterious way that you would have never expected but somehow it works. We can see these things when we look for them, but if we are not looking or if we doubt, then we won't see them.

Jen, I hope that this helps you. Sorry if I have rambled too much or if this was not what you wanted to know. You are asking good questions, and I hope that you will keep asking them, not only here but everywhere, until you find your answers.

Love To All,
Rap