Not eating will get me hospitalized. I have taken a different route.....which they all have noticed by now.

I butchered my hair.

And I had an epiphany.

Yes what K said was hurtful, offensive and downright mean, and yes SOME tiny TINY bit of my anger is at her for being so invalidating, however I was already angry.

I was angry at my abuser.
And I butchered my hair because of him. (Well my actions but it was set in motion in him, I am responsible for my own action but we all know what I mean, I hope)

I'm acting out, I'm just trying to figure out why cutting my hair would be a defense or a symbol or something of a representation of my anger at him, any idea?

And part of it is that NO ONE is noticing how much pain I am in right now, and the one that did invalidated me and hurt me, so perhaps I was also trying to show an outward symbol of it.

I have began eating again btw.

BEFORE


AFTER