You need to set an example for your son. You don't want him growing up and treating his future wife, the way your x has treated you. You've given him a year, after seperation to get his stuff together. I think you've been more than patient imho. I gave my x, similar to yours, a year also and he continued to behave the same way the entire time, including cheating 3 months after the seperation.

It is hard, no doubt. I am still battling with going back myself. Especially when he is being nice, I forget about the other side of him. But I know that I was miserable, and I can't imagine living like that again, especially after being on my own and finally being able to live and eat the food I want and dress the way I want, have the friends I choose, leaving the house on my own, and just be myself at all hours of the day and not have to hide any part of me at all.

You can be strong and break your past pattern. You and your son are worth more than what he has made you believe you are. You are worth going through this change and hard times, so you can go on and have a super happy fabulous life that you decide to live.

If you haven't already, maybe contact some local abused women's groups and see if you can go there for some support. I know you are only separated, but a divorce group could help you with the loss of a marriage. These groups are usually free and you can find others going through similar to help you get through.