We grieve when someone dies, we grieve when we say a special farewell, we grieve when we pass into a new life phase. We grieve for many reasons. Today I grieve for the loss of my healthy mind. I feel it slipping away. I know that this is just a depressive phase approaching, and I know that I've won this fight numerous times before . Logically I understand these things. But, frankly, it's tiring. I really just don't want to go through this again.

I miss being able to concentrate. I miss being unafraid. I miss reading beautiful books. I miss following conversations. I miss helping others. I miss hearing things the first time. I miss being vertical more than horizontal. I really miss being honest with people. I miss my best self. I miss offering that to others.

I try to remember that my mind will return, but then I forget that too sometimes. I’m just grieving today.

Emmy