Thank you all so much for your replies! I am so glad that people have found intense therapy to be so helpful.

Had my first two hour session this morning, and it went well I actually FELT AND EXPRESSED SOMETHING IN THE ROOM! (Anger, towards an ex) My T said she hasn't seen me that animated before, and that's when I realized what had happened and at first I was like OMG I lost control for a second. But then I was like, well, maybe, but it wasn't so bad So, for me that does feel like a significant step. Even though with friends I'd have no problem getting angry/ expressing it about that particular thing (my ex) with my T I think I've been extremely heavily guarded because we dig into graver, grimmer material than simply a twat of an ex boyfriend, so I've been constantly braced against letting the faintest whisper of rage or pain out. But now, maybe as I've relaxed enough to express it about this one issue, it could possibly be a step towards expressing it about other deeper wounds. I guess.

We've arranged now that we meet everyday until Saturday. It takes my breath away how generous and amazing my T is, I couldn't even find the words today to convey how much I appreciate her. 'Thank you' just doesn't feel like enough.