Sometimes I envy others because they seem to have confidence, good social skills, they're well spoken, and generally they can function with their day to day without getting severely overwhelmed like we do. I'm not really sure if this envying is something you do as well but you did mention wanting a "normal life" and not wanting to have to live with AvPD.

What helps me is to realize that a "normal life" doesn't really exist and those people that I envy from time to time, what I imagine their lives might be like, that's just not reality. We may struggle with a lot of what seem like dumb things on a regular basis and it can be seriously dreadful some days but I don't think the grass is greener on the other side. Unlike you I have always been somewhat fond of the way I am and I don't even think of AvPD as a disorder, just that this is the way that I am, and that's fine. In fact I'd say it affords me many wonderful experiences that a lot of other people don't get to experience and I'm thankful for that.

So I do encourage you to keep trying to get out there and find that happiness that you are looking for, you can do it! But also I would suggest trying to love and embrace this part of you as well.