Uh Boy! To Everybody who has posted here so far(except Rainyday, smart girl) I think we should form a support group ~ we all have many things in common.

I can say without hesitation I would love to be out of this weird marriage I am in. My spouse did the same thing; left with no notice, was carrying on with others, in RL & online, encouraging me to "find someone who could get along with me" (cuz I'm just so darn difficult!!!)
Pretty much the Last Thing in the world I wanted to do is find another man. Then, I did meet a nice enough man accidentally, had a nice friendship, etc. (BTW, 10 yrs my jr, & 20 yrs H's jr.). It was sweet & just what I needed to pick myself up off the floor & move on.

And then, guess who shows up..."confused! Sorry! I want my family back!" Completely blames me for his weird behaviors &/or has conveniently forgotten how horribly hurtful he has been. Couldn't bear the thought of another man moving in on his lovely family. He didn't want us but no one else was gonna have us either. (this is emotional abuse to a T)
So dopey me went there, thought it was the honorable, 'right' thing to do, repair my marriage. I took him back, er...he muscled his way back in & never left. Guarding the castle perhaps... still has a long distance GF that he thinks I shouldn't mind about...WTF. Trust me, I know how nutty this sounds, I am living it At least we have separate bedrooms. I cannot ever feel good about a physical relationship with him anymore. (stupid twerp)
Guess who is miserable? Both of us. We keep it light. No fights. No point.
I am doing the best I can to pull together a plan of escape. I will execute when the timing is right for me. I cannot, at my age, be struggling again, as bad as that sounds, don't judge me. I will have what I need & no more, and we will both live considerably happier lives in our older years. I should not have to suffer because he destroyed what was a good life.
For me, I just feel like,... what a dope he is. He had it all in his hands, the thing he claims to treasure, and he crushed it. His dreams, my dreams.
Now my dream is for peace. And maybe I'll find joy again which is more likely without this delusional nut bunny.(did I mention he is ADD/OCD untreated & defiant about it?)
Wish me luck on my journey...as I wish you so much ...