Hi OE,

I read about the horrible time you had to endure with your loving horses. I can't stand to see any animals in pain and fell apart when I've lost dogs in the past. I'm at the point now where I'm not sure I will be able to get another dog even though I know how much joy an animal can bring to a persons life. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to move past that trauma.

I also believe my husband is a functioning alcoholic. And it is true that you would be dealing with 2 children. We pretty much stop growing and maturing past the point of our first abuse of drugs and alcohol. I go to Alanon sometimes for his drinking. The best piece of advice I got from my AA sponsor regarding my husband's drinking was don't take it personally. Another words he is not drinking because of me or something I did or didn't do; he is drinking because he is sick. And for me to drink "at him" only hurts me and my life. I just had to come to terms with keeping my own side of the street clean. It's funny because I was afraid my husband would leave me because of the pot. So, I went to AA for him, but I stayed for myself. I had a rooommate in college who was dsylexic, and she had to read her work twice but successfuly graduated. I imagine that is a day to day struggle for you as a parent and wife.

My ptsd has caused me to block out parts of my childhood, so I think I will have a hard time grieving what I can't remember. I have read and believe that when ptsd goes untreated it will manifest into other mental illnesses. Like your brother when I became sober I turned to food. I felt that it was ok as a crutch for my first year sober, but now I really want to lose the weight as it makes me depressed. I'll break that down though and tackle it piece by piece as my therapist has mentioned.

Thank you so much again for your replies.

Love & Light,

tnt