when this kind of thing happened to me my treatment providers explained to me that because of the nature of DID its pretty common place for alters to be different then the person they reside in, ie have their own friends, have their own activities, have their own purpose, job, and reason for being. as such they function completely on their own, take on a life of their own. and sometimes their jobs, purposes, reasons for being isnt according to what my own plans are, as a result having alters affects my home life, my social life, my work, finances.....my treatment provider calls this being categorical, the DSM 5 calls it ...Distinct....

from the DSM 5...
A. Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states which may be described in some cultures as an experience of possession. The disruption in identity involves marked discontinuity in sense of self and sense of agency, accompanied by related alterations in affect, behavior, consciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and or sensory-motor functioning. These signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual.

line in the sand I have lost many jobs, friends, even intimate relationships because my plans / lifestyle did not match with one or more of my alters.

what to do about it, well since my alters were just being who, what they were created for, (their job, purpose, reason for being) my treatment provider and I did nothing about that. we just continued on with working on my life and problems and let the alters continue to do what they were created to do.

eventually I made friends and intimate relationships that did not get pushed away due to their not being right for me, were a danger to one or more of us.....what ever the reason was behind the alter ending that relationship for me was. I learned to have faith in what they were doing to help me survive. the result was I met Sandi who eventually became my wife.