Granite, this is a time of immense grief -- I was unbearably sad when I left my T last year.

I haven't been following the couch or PC much recently... my job has become extremely stressful, and certain aspects of my family situation are about to become extremely stressful, and I have had to keep my attention on those things while keeping myself and Baby Brown healthy.

But from what I'm reading here, you're doing something really impressive. If other people do not prioritize us the way they should, it can be really hard to realize it's not our fault. That'll take a lot of time. But what I'm seeing here is that you are being proactive about it, which means that somewhere in there you (and MKAC, and quite frankly all the rest of us) must have some notion that you deserve better. And you do.

It is extremely hard to act on that feeling, because for so many of us, that notion that other people should treat us well was squashed by the people who should have loved us the most from the very beginning. It's true, though. You deserve a T who is present with you, because you are neither expendable nor unimportant. If a T treats you as if you are, that is the fault of the T, not you.

I would much... much... MUCH rather you changed T's than changed who you are. In fact, I would absolutely prefer that you did not change who you are, regardless of who your T is.