I agree, you 2 don't sound at all compatable.

Nothing anyone says will make him change his personality. He has to want to change and doesn't sound like he's interested. He just gets angry and defensive when you point out his shortcomings and any improvements you want to make to the relationship. People like this are not interested in change. They like the way things are.

You have to accept that how things are right now is how they will be and either marry him, or decide that its too high a price to pay.

You haven't said anything nice about him besides when you mentioned being intimate with him, so I have a hard time understanding why you even want to marry a man that belittles and embarrasses you in public. A man that doesn't want you to think and feel without his permission. A man who doesn't give you a voice and makes all the decisions without you. This does not sound like a healthy partnership, it honestly sounds more like a dictatorship.

So because you didn't really give us a full picture I suggest you grab a pen and paper and make a Pros & Cons list.

Make a list of all the positive reasons to marry him , and then a list of all the negatives that you will have trouble accepting for the rest of your life.

Then compare the 2 and see which list is longer, the idea is to give you some clarity on what you're up against and for you to see clearly if marriage is a good idea.

It is unwise to enter a relationship hoping to change someone. Marrying or dating "potential" in the hopes of molding them into what we want makes no sense when there are "finished products", available people with the qualities we seek out there.

For a happy healthy relationship to flourish, we need to love and accept eachother as is.

I don't think either of you accept eachother as is, and therefore I doubt marriage will be a happy and healthy experience for either of you.

Take care