Well I am new to this forum and new to bipolar. My psychiatrist diagnosed me as being bp on Wednesday but I am not convinced. I have suffered with depression for more than 10 years. I have isolated myself from all friends and family. Some days I feel like I am just existing not living. Other days I feel on top of the world and can't wait to get going. Most days I just hate the world and everyone in it. I believe people are lying to me, stealing from me, pretending to like me. My husband tells me I'm beautiful, that he loves me....I don't believe him. Is he having an affair? I feel like I am inadequate as a mother...I don't do enough for my children. This is hard just writing this....everyone will judge me....won't they??? I have so many projects I have started with enthusiasm but are now left unfinished. I started a bachelor degree in psychology in 2004...best year yet....completed 6 subjects....attained high distinctions in all subjects. Then 2005 only managed to complete 1 subject...then dropped out after 11 weeks into second semester. Some days I feel slow and unmotivated. Other days I feel energetic and motivated....I get stuck on a project...nothing else matters...dont have time to eat...my husband tells me I'm obsessed. I email all my friends but then I get depressed again and dont answer their replys. I drink to slow down. I have been depressed for more than 12 weeks this time...nothing interests me at all...can't eat, can't sleep...have to force myself to do the basic chores. Have been off all meds since 2004. Dr prescribed me efexor-xr, sodium valproate and seroquel on Tuesday. I took one efexor yesterday morning and by lunch time I felt jittery, anxious, tingly, sweaty and nauseous....all of a sudden I felt energetic...can't stand still...my mind is racing...finding it hard to listen to people talk for all the "noise" in my head. I feel very aware of my thoughts and myself physically but very unaware of my external surroundings...does that make sense? Is this normal to have such an instantaneous reaction to efexor??? Is this just a side affect of the drug or am I having a manic episode? I havnt taken any sodium valproate as I am not convinced that I am bp. What is the difference between feeling normal and feeling manic???? Thanks for taking the time to read my rantings.