Sounds like your relationship is not healthy for you. Sounds like it exacerbates and feeds your illness instead of nurturing it and helping you be the best version of you. Our relationships have a HUGE impact on our quality of life and I hope yours hasn't decreased drastically, because this sounds very much like a relationship I was in once upon a time, gawd he brought out the worst in me...

I wish I could make you feel better, I wish I knew what to say, but all I have to offer is that I've been in your shoes, and I also know its possible to get a new pair.

I hope things calm down for you soon.