For as long as I rember, my relatives have always ignored me for the most part. They are able to converse with each other, but they've never really cared to know about me or my life. In July I went to visit my home state, and was successful meeting up with some of them, but when I did, my sister asked me what I do, and I told her the truth...I'm disabled. I asked where she and the others worked, and they just told me the city where they worked, only my sister told me further details such as the name of the place, and that was basically it. They never gave me any of their phone numbers or addresses so I could keep in touch with them...most of them are on facebook, but I deactivated my account so I do not know how to get a hold of them, let alone them wanting me to find them.

I spoke to my dad about this, and he sided with them. He sided with my Child's father when I told him that he was being abusive with me. He interrups me when I'm talking...most people do. So he tells me that I can call him and talk to him at anytime for anything and when I did last time, he told me to call him when I have good news to tell him.

No wonder I have daddy issues.

Truthfully, I hope I can one day change my identity, nose job, breast enhancement, hair color, even false eyelashes. This is how much I feel alienated by my so-called family. I feel like if I look entirely different, people will pay more attention to me and care about me.

But I know no matter how much I wish or will change my looks, my so-called relatives will continue to keep their distance.

Water is thicker that blood for me.