What it sounds like from what little you have said here is that you never established a sense of "safety and trust". You have not talked about your history and whether you felt a sense of security and good nurturing growing up.

If I consider my own personal history, I did deal with intrusions, however, I didn't actually feel "secure and safe" and there was too much dysfunction going on around me. I did have to worry about "what could happen" and that is not good for any child to have to deal with.

It isn't just a "trauma" that can trigger someone to suffer with some kind of MI. It can be due to what kind of environment a person has to try to function in that may be "toxic" in some way, something that person doesn't have enough life experience or skills to know enough how to deal with and develop their sense of security and build up their self esteem.

For myself, I have had to discuss my own history with my therapist so he could help me understand what challenged me and how that went into some of the ways I tried to compensate in ways that I didn't always understand or recognize the way I do now.

For me, I grew up in a toxic atmosphere that was due to both my father and older brother having ADHD. During that time no one understood or could diagnose that disorder either. Then I married a man who also had ADHD and pretty much my entire life was constantly struggling from the challenging behavior patterns these individuals kept challenging me with. It was not that these individuals were "evil or bad" either, however they had behavior patterns that were constantly "intrusive and overbearing and controlling" and often created an environment where I never felt "secure and safe".

It is important to take the time to work with a therapist and figure out whatever may have challenged you that really was not your fault, nor was something you could have controlled or understood, but did present an "unhealthy" challenge to you.

It is not unusual for someone to experience "depression" at some point or even a few points in their lives. Depression and the added stress for how the depression can get in the way of having an ability to engage in life better can become overwhelming. So spending time with a "caring and experienced" therapist, can help the person struggling to spend time learning to see "where the stress is coming from" and learn to develop not only knowledge, but skills to finally make the changes that lead to overcoming the depression or whatever the person just isn't really seeing that is debilitating.

Unfortunately, many people who try to reach out for help and get "therapy", tend to feel that they need to "please" the therapist, and hide their past or emotional challenges somehow. When a patient worries about "being judged" somehow by a therapist, they hold back from doing the one thing they really need to do which is open up and talk and not get caught up in thinking they are failing if they "need to open up".

You are thinking that if you talk about "how you worry about what could happen" that a therapist may "think you are dumb or crazy or advise you that your concerns are wrong". Well, that is not what a good therapist will do, instead a good therapist will work with you to see where these challenges originated and how you can finally understand it yourself better.

Often we are told and grow to believe that we need to "hold in our emotions" and "just deal". Well, that just doesn't work, our emotions are telling us something isn't right, and often our emotions tell us to reach out and talk or get comfort or help. If we go along thinking we are not supposed to do that, yes, we can develop depression and begin to experience "anxiety" or stress that over time can lead to withdrawing and being depressed or even developing other disorders.

There are all kinds of abuse/traumas, it isn't just physical, it can be emotional abuse that can develop into PTSD or Borderline Personality Disorder, or Depression.

Do you see a therapist on a regular basis?

OE